Bib number 31

It's kind of a big deal.... I ran my first 5K since.....I don't remember when.....maybe college, possibly in 10 years. I never even considered that I had fallen off the wagon....I kind of got pushed off the wagon by my heart. I got catapulted back into running, but I am very thankful. This is one thing that has come out of February 15th. It was the Run for Remembrance 5K to benefit our fallen firefighters, and those still battling in Galveston. It had to be my first run back, and now I am back into running. When I wanted to stop, I knew they hadn't. When I thought that it hurt, I had no idea. I know that it isn't any comparison, but at least I could do that one thing. In a time when we felt like we couldn't do a thing, I sat. I prayed because that was the only thing to do. I could have sat and cried....I did sit and cry, but while I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. Psalm 5:11 "But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you." Psalm 9:9 "The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble." Psalm 23 Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 29:11 "The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace" Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those that are crushed in spirit." Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble" Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 62:1 "My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and my heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 121 Isaiah 40:11 "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he leads those that have young." Isaiah 40: 28 " The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow weary, and his understanding no one can fathom." Isaiah 40:31 "but those that hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; the will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" My bib number was 31, my age....at least for a couple more weeks. Kind of ironic.

The other shoe.......

Settle in folks I feel like this is going to be a lengthy one. Do you ever get the feeling that the other shoe is gonna drop?? I have had this feeling since the wee early morning hours of Feb 16th. A lot has happened since my last blog good, bad, ugly things. Aubrey turned 2 on January 4th. The day of his birthday Davy and I decided that we would keep it just us and took him to the aquarium in Houston. Such a fun day. I love to see the wonder in his eyes, the element of surprise that he holds, and just pure joy. I want to bottle that up and hold onto it for ever and ever. But we don't have for ever and ever do we? I find myself trying to freeze all the moments I can, really soak them in because we aren't promised tomorrow. Davy spent some time in Denver in January and it made me more aware of what an integral part of my life and Aubrey's life that he is. I am thankful for being reminded because I won't take that for granted anymore. As I write this there are so many words that fill my head and they aren't my thoughts they are scriptural promises that I have become so much more aware of in the past 2 months. It makes me more peaceful, but also so very sad for the lose that has created this awareness. Now more of any urgency to be aware, to make the most of the time we have, to spread the word that Jesus Christ died for my sins and saved me. He saved me. Makes me want to put my life story, my testimonial into words. I am 31. I have had an interesting last 10 years where I can look back and realize that I have changed. 10 years ago I was diagnosed with a potentially fatal heart rhythm. I was a college kid that knew God, had professed my faith in Jesus Christ, but wasn't living it. I got stopped in my tracks and had to rely on God to get me through. Don't get me wrong my family was instrumental at that point in time, but God is what saved me. He allowed me to never be alone when I had the episodes with my heart. I didn't realize how important that was until my first shock and I was all alone. What if the rhythm hadn't been found by then??? Would I still be here? 10 years ago I married the most amazing man, that only God could have created for me.10 years ago I graduated from A&M. Life was great. Life does have ups and downs. At one point I was told that I wouldn't ever have children of my own because it wasn't safe. We came to terms with that. Only God can soothe your heart after being told that. Then I was "cured" after the worst surgery, that I only got through because of God and the amazing "angels" that he had care for me. I was told I could have kids. We got pregnant right away. We had a miscarriage. Only God can soothe your heart after that lose. We got pregnant again. Anxiety and fear ruled until I gave it away to God. Looking at my life there are things that only I know God is the only way that I survived. I could have died. I feel like I have been close to death. at 20 weeks pregnant I was shocked numerous times in a row. If that doesn't make you feel close to death then it will definitely make you rely on God to get you through. We got told that our unborn child could have hydrocephalus and a number of other disorders. Amniocentesis......20 + more weeks of praying, and doctors visits, praying, and scans, praying, and planning, and praying. Did I mention the praying part. Only God can heal and work miracles. I am a miracle. Aubrey is a miracle. Only God can do that. I know this first hand. February 15th. A fire that changed the Bryan Fire Department forever. Claimed 2 men, and injured 2 others. This is family. These men are integral parts of my husband's life. It shakes you to the core, makes you lean on a higher power because if you don't have that, what do you have? If I didn't trust in the Lord how could I let my husband go back to work for fear it would be him, how do you even move on when you have lost 2 friends, and 2 others are fighting for their lives? God, that's how. He picks you up and carries you. It is the only way. Boston Marathon bombing What the heck....we are at war folks! If you hadn't felt it before now, you should. We are at war with other countries, we are at war with ourselves, we are at war against each other, and most importantly we are at war with Satan. Who do you think whispers into these people's ears and creates that kind of chaos?? I just read 1 Corinthians 13. I know, I know...it is the marriage verse. NO IT IS NOT. It is a perfect representation of who Christ is. LOVE. If you have Christ in your life, and you spend time in the word your faith will abound. Fight the war with Love people!! West,Tx explosion. Just when we think that we are healing, moving through tragedy, making progress....we are reminded. Harshly reminded. If my fear of letting my husband out the door to go to work wasn't bad enough, now letting him go out on a call with the volunteer department just threw me into a whirlwind, but it didn't. I can't say that I didn't have fear or anxiety but I knew where to go, and there I was until he made it home. Peace can fill you in the most tumultuous times. (I know I am throwing big words out there, far beyond my vocabulary, and using spell check while I do it, but heck, why not? ;O) The other shoe is dropping, or at least at times it may feel that way. When it does, stop, talk to the one that made you, he knows how he made you, and how you are going to react, he is the only one that can understand to the core of your being. Much love, and (sorry) ranting.