Monday, August 30, 2010
Slowing Down
I had planned on getting to the blog a lot sooner than this but oh so much has been going on. I know that I have said this in an earlier blog but I believe that God gives us scripture for different reasons, but one in particular is so that even when it doesn't apply to your life at that direct moment, WOW it will be so valuable later on. Case in point...James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." The day of reading this exact scripture it so applied to a couple of my patients.....and then became very relevant to Us. I had another "episode" with my heart. (That is what we fondly call them.) I got shocked because my heart rate got to high, and we are so thankful for the defibrillator, because it did its job....maybe a little to well. But anyway, I got to spend the night at the hospital for observation for me and our little boy to make sure that the medicine that they put me on was working, and to watch his heart rate. Everything has turned out just as the Lord planned it, and we are doing well. Just getting use to the increased fatigue, and monitoring of my heart rate, which now I believe is God's way of telling me to slow down! Man, but I think he could have used another way, however a jolt of electricity will do it every time and he is well aware of that. Through this most recent experience I know that I am more aware of his ever present love, and comfort, as well as being "full of compassion and mercy" James 5:11 I also know where my help comes from, "My help comes from the Lord, and the Maker of heaven and earth" Psalm 121:2. His hands were all over that weekend from the care I received and the conversations I had with all my caregivers while at the hospital. Believers all around me is what got us through, God's everyday angels.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Curiosity
If I were a cat I would be dead if the old saying is true "Curiosity killed the cat". Today was our 18 week sonogram!!!!!! Davy made me make a decision because I have been so wishy washy lately about finding out the sex of the baby, so I finally decided this morning that yes in deed we would find out because I knew when asked I wouldn't be able to say no. sooooooooo
That isn't the picture you were hoping for was it....can't tell from this. But this picture is pure amazement for us. The images were so surreal. Our little one was sitting with his/her legs crossed, and wasn't really sure like me if we would find out the sex today, but by the end we poked him long enough that he showed us the Goods....and if you aren't reading carefully you didn't notice that I called him a he because that is what he is. BOY!!!
We are beside ourselves with joy, and thanksgiving!!! All his images looked great, at least to me and Davy. He has 10 fingers, 10 toes, 2 arms, 2 legs........you get the point, but man was it amazing to see him just as snug as a bug in a rug hanging out. That is probably why I haven't felt to much movement, he is just along for the ride. Kind of like me, but on the other hand he doesn't realize all the preparations we are making. The baby bed is made, and we just have to stain it (Thanks Pops and Davy!!!!)
I can' find the "just right" rocking chair so mom and I will be on a shopping mission this fall, and that list goes on too......When I think about preparations I think of how there are certain passages in the bible that we read that may not be relevant to our life at that specific point, but later on down the road those scriptures are a reminder and comfort that God is preparing things for us, and how Jesus prepared the way for us by dieing for our sins. It just puts life into perspective. This baby is changing us, not only physically but spiritually and I can't wait for the ride that it will be.
That isn't the picture you were hoping for was it....can't tell from this. But this picture is pure amazement for us. The images were so surreal. Our little one was sitting with his/her legs crossed, and wasn't really sure like me if we would find out the sex today, but by the end we poked him long enough that he showed us the Goods....and if you aren't reading carefully you didn't notice that I called him a he because that is what he is. BOY!!!
We are beside ourselves with joy, and thanksgiving!!! All his images looked great, at least to me and Davy. He has 10 fingers, 10 toes, 2 arms, 2 legs........you get the point, but man was it amazing to see him just as snug as a bug in a rug hanging out. That is probably why I haven't felt to much movement, he is just along for the ride. Kind of like me, but on the other hand he doesn't realize all the preparations we are making. The baby bed is made, and we just have to stain it (Thanks Pops and Davy!!!!)
I can' find the "just right" rocking chair so mom and I will be on a shopping mission this fall, and that list goes on too......When I think about preparations I think of how there are certain passages in the bible that we read that may not be relevant to our life at that specific point, but later on down the road those scriptures are a reminder and comfort that God is preparing things for us, and how Jesus prepared the way for us by dieing for our sins. It just puts life into perspective. This baby is changing us, not only physically but spiritually and I can't wait for the ride that it will be.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Goodness
I have had this blog in me for a little while, but wanted to wait for some kind of baby update to go along with it. Well here it is. We had an appointment today, and got to hear the heartbeat again, but didn't get to see the little one because we will be having a sonogram next week. I think that we are savoring every ounce of this pregnancy, because some people might say....yeah you get to hear the heart beat every time. But that is my favorite part. The morning leading up to the visit...just knowing that I get to hear it....the feeling is indescribable. Plus it reaffirms that yes even though some of the outward signs...and inward signs are not evident yet, but this baby is so real and such an amazing blessing. It takes me by surprise feeling all the goodness that God has for us.
(leading into the blog I have been harboring). God's goodness doesn't come without his mercy. Psalm 23:6 "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever" The whole 23rd psalm is so bold, giving clear and precise examples of our Shepherd's protection, love, goodness, mercy, knowing, guidance, comfort, providence... the list could go on. But WOW, all packed in 6 verses. The goodness and mercy portion saved for the end to remind us that when we align ourselves with Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father that those two things will be with you all the days of your life. I have seen the days of mercy, and I know there are more to come. Right now this season of life is so filled with goodness it is overwhelming. We feel so blessed to have this chance, and can't explain how loved we feel when each of our friends celebrates with us during this time. I just think that it is only a small degree of the love that God has for each and everyone of us. The same way I feel about the baby is how I feel about my relationship with Christ. There are times when there are no outward or inward signs, and the smallest thing can give me that affirmation that yes it is so real and more powerful than I can even fathom, but comforting. I thank each and everyone of you for helping us feel the love and goodness of our Lord.
(leading into the blog I have been harboring). God's goodness doesn't come without his mercy. Psalm 23:6 "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever" The whole 23rd psalm is so bold, giving clear and precise examples of our Shepherd's protection, love, goodness, mercy, knowing, guidance, comfort, providence... the list could go on. But WOW, all packed in 6 verses. The goodness and mercy portion saved for the end to remind us that when we align ourselves with Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father that those two things will be with you all the days of your life. I have seen the days of mercy, and I know there are more to come. Right now this season of life is so filled with goodness it is overwhelming. We feel so blessed to have this chance, and can't explain how loved we feel when each of our friends celebrates with us during this time. I just think that it is only a small degree of the love that God has for each and everyone of us. The same way I feel about the baby is how I feel about my relationship with Christ. There are times when there are no outward or inward signs, and the smallest thing can give me that affirmation that yes it is so real and more powerful than I can even fathom, but comforting. I thank each and everyone of you for helping us feel the love and goodness of our Lord.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
16 week update
We have been trying to get in as much summer fun as possible. This past weekend we spent the day at Lake Belton with my family, but all the ladies forgot our cameras!!!! Can you believe that???? We had a great day swimming, tubing, and wake surfing. Got some sun....some more than others, and just had a really great time.
I am now 16wks pregnant.....
(Thanks Ashley for the stickies. I couldn't wait to use them.)
You can actually see "baby lockhart" now. That is what the adoring public calls the baby since we are having a difficult time deciding if we are going to find out the sex, and prefer not to tell anyone the names that we are discussing. I find it difficult to believe that the baby can now hear my voice and is the size of the palm of my hand. It just amazes me, and I know that I grin like a kid on Christmas morning when people tell me congrats, or find out that we are pregnant. I just can't help myself. Things continue to go well with no problems, and we are having more energy day to day to get back to the normal routines around here.
I am now 16wks pregnant.....
(Thanks Ashley for the stickies. I couldn't wait to use them.)
You can actually see "baby lockhart" now. That is what the adoring public calls the baby since we are having a difficult time deciding if we are going to find out the sex, and prefer not to tell anyone the names that we are discussing. I find it difficult to believe that the baby can now hear my voice and is the size of the palm of my hand. It just amazes me, and I know that I grin like a kid on Christmas morning when people tell me congrats, or find out that we are pregnant. I just can't help myself. Things continue to go well with no problems, and we are having more energy day to day to get back to the normal routines around here.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Fly a Kite
This past weekend we had a chance to go with Davy's family to Canyon Lake, and spend some time away. So most of this post will be pics.
"Let's go fly a kite"
Weekend wildlife
Swimming with Grammy
A new version of wake surfing
On the baby front. 15 weeks and counting. Pics next week of the 16 week baby belly. I had my first bout with morning sickness this morning. Caught me off guard. Up until now I have only been slightly nauseous, but today was not just nausea! Then I got to spend the whole day at the court house for Jury Duty. What fun that was, but such an interesting experience to go through. Seeing our justice system at work. One question really hit me. "Are any of you totally opposed, because of your religious convictions, to sitting in judgment of someone?". At that point I realized that I in fact wasn't prepared to decide someones fate if they were in fact guilty of the offense, and God gave me a little blessing where the jury wasn't going to be deciding the punishment only the guilt/innocent phase of the trial. A lot of the questions that were asked I decided to really ponder on and make a truth filled response, and I know that life is filled with a lot of grey but I tend to be a black and white person where I want to know both sides of the story. I always try to think of not only the positives, but the negatives as well so that the best decision can be made. In the end I didn't get selected for the trial, but I came away being convicted myself because one of the sins that I commit is to judge people. I have been aware of this for a while, but also can see that through my growing relationship with Christ I have become more aware of the situation and that keeps me from judging. I love that about this intimate relationship that we have...being able to open my eyes in a way that I hadn't seen before. John 9:15 "He put clay on my eyes, and I washed, and I see" I feel like before my walk with Christ intensified I had clay on my eyes, and it is being washed away. What I renewing feeling that is. Let yourself be renewed today with clean, refreshed, and new sight.
"Let's go fly a kite"
Weekend wildlife
Swimming with Grammy
A new version of wake surfing
On the baby front. 15 weeks and counting. Pics next week of the 16 week baby belly. I had my first bout with morning sickness this morning. Caught me off guard. Up until now I have only been slightly nauseous, but today was not just nausea! Then I got to spend the whole day at the court house for Jury Duty. What fun that was, but such an interesting experience to go through. Seeing our justice system at work. One question really hit me. "Are any of you totally opposed, because of your religious convictions, to sitting in judgment of someone?". At that point I realized that I in fact wasn't prepared to decide someones fate if they were in fact guilty of the offense, and God gave me a little blessing where the jury wasn't going to be deciding the punishment only the guilt/innocent phase of the trial. A lot of the questions that were asked I decided to really ponder on and make a truth filled response, and I know that life is filled with a lot of grey but I tend to be a black and white person where I want to know both sides of the story. I always try to think of not only the positives, but the negatives as well so that the best decision can be made. In the end I didn't get selected for the trial, but I came away being convicted myself because one of the sins that I commit is to judge people. I have been aware of this for a while, but also can see that through my growing relationship with Christ I have become more aware of the situation and that keeps me from judging. I love that about this intimate relationship that we have...being able to open my eyes in a way that I hadn't seen before. John 9:15 "He put clay on my eyes, and I washed, and I see" I feel like before my walk with Christ intensified I had clay on my eyes, and it is being washed away. What I renewing feeling that is. Let yourself be renewed today with clean, refreshed, and new sight.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Newest Anthem
Today......so many things yet unable to describe them all. I don't know. Be prepared that this may be a ramblin blog. So emotional today, which thankfully hasn't been to much of the case during the past 14 weeks. You may ask my husband and he would say something different, but most days I am not brought to tears multiple times. Tears of frustration, anxiety, love, thankfulness, exhaustion.....yeah that about sums them up. So I got to reading, and came across my "newest anthem".
Ephesians 4:1-2 "...Live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
I have felt a tugging on my heart lately to use my talents for the greatness of God, and at times am bewildered on what that means. I am not sure that means that we are not all bound for some type of greatness, but that even the most insignificant life, is SO Significant in his eyes that your calling can be anything. I say insignificant because it is a feeling we get on this earth when things are bigger than us, when we feel out of control (which....just a reminder....we aren't in conrol :O))but also referencing Eph 3:8 "although I am less than the least of all God's people this grace was given me..." Paul even felt less than the least. Ponder on that a moment.
My job allows me to be able to "touch" people everyday, and in turn shows me that I can use the talents that he has given me to really touch these people. I just pray that everyday I am doing that, but I know that if I continue to try and keep this verse in mind, nothing is impossible.
On the baby front: I am getting more energy, and the dogs aren't sure that is a good thing. We ventured out on a walk this evening, and I wore them out....hanging tongues, gulping water, laying down....and that was just me.HHAHAAA. (I would post pictures of them....but they are camera shy and all- yeah whatever....couldn't get a shot that wasn't blurry)
Ephesians 4:1-2 "...Live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
I have felt a tugging on my heart lately to use my talents for the greatness of God, and at times am bewildered on what that means. I am not sure that means that we are not all bound for some type of greatness, but that even the most insignificant life, is SO Significant in his eyes that your calling can be anything. I say insignificant because it is a feeling we get on this earth when things are bigger than us, when we feel out of control (which....just a reminder....we aren't in conrol :O))but also referencing Eph 3:8 "although I am less than the least of all God's people this grace was given me..." Paul even felt less than the least. Ponder on that a moment.
My job allows me to be able to "touch" people everyday, and in turn shows me that I can use the talents that he has given me to really touch these people. I just pray that everyday I am doing that, but I know that if I continue to try and keep this verse in mind, nothing is impossible.
On the baby front: I am getting more energy, and the dogs aren't sure that is a good thing. We ventured out on a walk this evening, and I wore them out....hanging tongues, gulping water, laying down....and that was just me.HHAHAAA. (I would post pictures of them....but they are camera shy and all- yeah whatever....couldn't get a shot that wasn't blurry)
Saturday, July 10, 2010
"Safe in His Arms"
We had a check up yesterday and got to really hear the heart beat and see our little "lemon" (that is about the size of the baby right now). He/She looked to be waving at us, and just kicking those little legs. It was just so amazing, and really put me in awe of this whole miracle. I can't wait to go back and see our little baby again, because right now that is one thing that makes me feel like it is really real. I mean I know that I am pregnant....starving, exhausted, nausea (which is getting better), growing belly, hormones.....but sometimes it doesn't feel real.
I try to be an optimistic person, but I also know reality and try to prepare myself for the what if. I think that my life experiences with my heart and with our first pregnancy made me very aware of the "glass half empty" aspect of life. But yesterday after I got in the car I was so sweetly reminded through listening to "Safe" by Phil Wickham that no matter what, I am safe with God, and how couldn't I be when he gave his Son Jesus Christ for me. WOW! Getting past the 12 week mark for me was really exciting because we had decided this time around we would wait to tell most people until that point because the risk of miscarriage is less, and the pain of loosing our first baby was so great that we just wanted to savor it for ourselves without sharing it with alot of people. But each time I knew that God was with me, and that he is so faithful, so no matter the outcome we would continue on with Him at our side. What a comforting thought. *sigh* I could sit quietly with that thought all evening and be peaceful.
Other great things that are happening....I had a check up with my heart doctor in Austin, and everything is looking great. No signs of PVC's during my EKG or the medtronic download. So thanks be to God, and the amazing team that helped make all that happen June 1, 2009. And My doctor now comes to Bryan one time a month for out of town patient checkup, which is a blessing and a calming thought that I can see them more often if needed without making the drive to Austin.
Last but not least....To find out the sex of sweet baby Lockhart?????? I know there are thoughts both ways, but I am just so excited to be pregnant that all the other things that go along with it seem overwhelming at times. Like all the things that you need for a baby, getting a nursery ready, "when is your last day at work?", "are you going back to work after the baby?"....question after question that right now don't seem as important as being pregnant and enjoying it. I know at some point I will have to get my act together and do all this decision making, but right now we are still savoring the fact that we are pregnant, what an amazing miracle it is, and how safe we feel.
I try to be an optimistic person, but I also know reality and try to prepare myself for the what if. I think that my life experiences with my heart and with our first pregnancy made me very aware of the "glass half empty" aspect of life. But yesterday after I got in the car I was so sweetly reminded through listening to "Safe" by Phil Wickham that no matter what, I am safe with God, and how couldn't I be when he gave his Son Jesus Christ for me. WOW! Getting past the 12 week mark for me was really exciting because we had decided this time around we would wait to tell most people until that point because the risk of miscarriage is less, and the pain of loosing our first baby was so great that we just wanted to savor it for ourselves without sharing it with alot of people. But each time I knew that God was with me, and that he is so faithful, so no matter the outcome we would continue on with Him at our side. What a comforting thought. *sigh* I could sit quietly with that thought all evening and be peaceful.
Other great things that are happening....I had a check up with my heart doctor in Austin, and everything is looking great. No signs of PVC's during my EKG or the medtronic download. So thanks be to God, and the amazing team that helped make all that happen June 1, 2009. And My doctor now comes to Bryan one time a month for out of town patient checkup, which is a blessing and a calming thought that I can see them more often if needed without making the drive to Austin.
Last but not least....To find out the sex of sweet baby Lockhart?????? I know there are thoughts both ways, but I am just so excited to be pregnant that all the other things that go along with it seem overwhelming at times. Like all the things that you need for a baby, getting a nursery ready, "when is your last day at work?", "are you going back to work after the baby?"....question after question that right now don't seem as important as being pregnant and enjoying it. I know at some point I will have to get my act together and do all this decision making, but right now we are still savoring the fact that we are pregnant, what an amazing miracle it is, and how safe we feel.
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